


My nightmares are usually about losing you

by Dorthea



Series: Whumptober 2020 [9]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Anxious Tony Stark, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Child Death, Dead Peter Parker, Death, Hurt Peter, Hurt Peter Parker, Implied/Referenced Character Death, May Parker (Spider-Man) Needs a Hug, Parent Tony Stark, Past Character Death, Pepper Potts Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Possible Character Death, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Angst, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Whump, Whumptober, Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:55:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27062278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dorthea/pseuds/Dorthea
Summary: The kid was cold. So cold. Completely cold like a ice cube. His skin pale and gray in the darkness, but even more so than normally. And, where here would normally be a fast pules that indicated life, there was nothing. Nothing, as in nothing. Nada. Nil. Nix. Nothing. Absolutely no sighs of life. No rhythmic rise of the kids chest, indicating that the kid would be breathing. No signs of him waking up.Whumptober, day 17. Alternate prompt 10, "Nightmares".
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Whumptober 2020 [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1951294
Comments: 8
Kudos: 57
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	My nightmares are usually about losing you

_“Mr. Stark?” the kids mutter, watching as the Aliens and Strange, turns to dust and is carried away by the wind. “I don’t feel so good”. And Tony panic. His heart beating a million times faster than is should be. His breath hitching in his throat, as he turns towards the kid. The pale, scared, no, terrified kid. Nothing, but a kid. Just a kid. Not a hero or a warrior like Tony. Not yet.  
  
“Your alright?” Tony asks, questions it as he looks over the kid. Who just seconds later loses his balance and falls towards Tony. It’s his arms. As Tony makes a desperate attempt to hold him up. To give him some sort of comfort.  
  
“I… I don’t know what’s happening” he says, panic clear in his voice as he hits Tony’s chest with a soft thud. “I don’t know…” Break. Tony can feel the fingers on his back, the grab becoming weaker and weaker, as the fingers seems to disappear into thin air. “I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go, sir. Please” Tony can hear the panic, and the sadness and the pain in the kids voice. “Please, I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go”. As the kids leg’s too start to dust, Tony can’t keep them up anymore. He’s hurt himself. He can’t fight. Doesn’t have the strength to keep going. But, he tries to soften the blow on the kid. But he knows, in just seconds it wont matter.  
  
For a moment it almost seems like the kid might pass out. His eyes glassy and distant. Tony hopes for the kid to pass out, so he won’t feel it. Won’t feel his body being pulled apart.  
  
But Tony isn’t that lucky.  
  
In those final moments, the kids eyes becomes focused again. Searching for something. Searching for Tony, and lands on him with relief. Relief filling them. And there’s understand in those eyes. Understand that the kid shouldn’t have.  
  
Acceptance of what’s the come. Of his destiny. Of his death. Of the fact he wont see May or Ned or MJ ever again.  
  
There’s guilt in those eyes. Guilt that, Tony knows is there because of him. ‘If you die? I feel like that’s on me’. Those words had been Tony’s, and now he was looking into eyes, filling guilty about dying.  
  
He was just a kid! God, please. He’s just a kid.  
  
“I’m sorry” Peter, the kid mutters softly to Tony, because he’s eyes space out again. Becomes distant.  
  
That heat from Peter’s body being pushed close against Tony’s hands disappears, as the win carries away the ashes of the boy Tony had brough into a war, that wasn’t his. This, was all his fault. And the kid was sorry about it. The last thing the kid had felt was sadness and guilt. Not peace, not calmness. Guilt. Guilt about dying. Guilt about leaving his mentor alone with a blue robot alien, something. Guilt about something, that the kid couldn’t control.  
  
And Tony knew, an infinite number of people, felt the same._  
  
Tony shots up in the bed with a loud gasp. The edge of scream right on his lips. He’s soaked in sweat, his shirt and hair sticking to his cold skin. His breath is quick. The alarm on his watch going off, telling him his heartrate is elevated. And, sure in heck it’s elevated. That isn’t a surprise to Tony. He doesn’t need to watch to tell him that.  
  
The nightmare was enough of a reminder, that some things would stick with him forever. The PTSD, the heart problems, the fear of losing the kid all over again.  
  
The nightmare never even stopped. Not after 5 years where the kid had been dead. Not during the last 3 years, where the kid had come back. Where the kid had enjoyed life, swinging around as Spider-man, and gotten into MIT. No the nightmares, despite the fact the kid was safe, still kept coming. Causing lots of restless nights in the lab. While Tony attempted to calm down.  
  
It never really worked.  
  
“Friday” Tony called out when his breathing finally calmed down enough, to allow him to speak. “What’s the kid location and vitals?”. It had become routine. Nightmare, vitals. Nightmare, location. Making sure the kid was really as safe, as Tony though.  
  
But that was a step in the right direction. In the beginning, he’d showed up at the kids door in Queens, the aunt looking madder than ever, just to see the kid through the door, as he’d lay there, fast asleep. A finger on his Pulse Point was sometimes needed. On the neck, right behind the jaw. Feeling for himself, that the kid was indeed alive.  
  
“Boss” Fridays mechanical voice sounded almost as panicked as Tony had just moments ago. He sometimes didn’t know how that had happened, but guess it was probably after studying Tony and the other Avengers reactions. “I am unable to detect Mr. Parker heartbeat. His location is in Queens”.  
  
Tony, who’d almost laid completely back down, once again shot up. “What?!” he almost screamed. And it was loud enough to raise Pepper from her usually deep sleep. “Get a suit ready. Try to read his vitals again. Call May!”.  
  
“Right away sir” Friday confirmed, as Tony swung his legs on the side of the bed. His feet meeting the cold wooden floor, sending chills up his spine. But he didn’t care. He quickly pushed himself up, steering for the dressed to grab a pair of pants and socks. Nothing specific. Just whatever was at the top. Jeans, in this case. And a pair of slightly thicker socks. “I’m am still unable to detect Mr. Parker heartbeat. Do you want me to contact Dr. Cho?” .  
  
Tony stopped for a moment, “Yes Friday. Call Cho. Give her everything you can. I’m on my way!”.  
  
“Tony” Pepper soft voice was enough to make Tony stop. “Tony, your not going into your suit before you slow your breathing. Your at the lack house, Morgan is sleeping next door. There’s nothing to be scared about. Okay?”. Pepper slowly got out of the bed too, a careful hand running soothingly down Tony’s neck and shoulders. “It’s okay. Just breath”.  
  
They stood like that for a minute, till Tony could finally breath somewhat normally. “Boss. I’m unable to make contact with Miss Parker” Friday said loudly over the speaker.  
  
Tony looked at Pepper with deep eyes, “I need to go… I…” Pepper carefully stopped him. Something in her eyes, showing complete understanding.  
  
“I know, Tony. I know” she reassures him. “Go get your boy”.  
  
And so Tony gave her small kiss on the cheek before rushing out the bedroom. Past Morgan’s room, as quickly as he could, and down the stairs. Out the front door of the lack house. And into the suit Friday already had ready for him.  
  
Sending all the power to the repulsers in the feet, so he could get to Queens as fast as possible.  
  
Tony had flown to Queens before. Many times, for that matter, as Peter was home during breaks and weekends. Plain flight it took half an hour. For emergency’s it would take, maybe 5 minutes. But today it went even faster. Tony pushing the suit with everything it had. Forcing it forward. Despite the fact, he knew it was a bad idea to do so, in the dark sky. With the constant threat of a system malfunction hanging over his head, that could, kill him. But Peter was more important.  
  
Peter could already be dead.  
  
The 2 and half minute flight, was a blur to Tony. No real memories of even making the trip. Landing and running up 7 flights of stairs, knocking the door down, with all the force he could, running towards the kids bedroom… it was weirdly quiet. Weirdly dark. Weirdly… actually, Tony didn’t know. Weirdly heartbreaking.  
  
May didn’t show herself. Probably at work. Didn’t scream at him, for breaking down her front door. And Peter, didn’t show himself either. His location hadn’t changed either.  
  
Tony pulled open the door to the dark teen room, where Peter had all his stuff, and felt just the slightest relief that Peter was in his bed, and not on the floor or just, gone. A pill of ashes on the floor, or hidden under the blankets. But the relief didn’t last long.  
  
Tony flew to his side, the bed giving slightly in by the added weight. Placing a set of shaky fingers on Peter’s pulls point, and knew right away that something wasn’t right.  
  
The kid was cold. So cold. Completely cold like a ice cube. His skin pale and gray in the darkness, but even more so than normally. And, where here would normally be a fast pules that indicated life, there was nothing. Nothing, as in nothing. Nada. Nil. Nix. Nothing. Absolutely no sighs of life. No rhythmic rise of the kids chest, indicating that the kid would be breathing. No signs of him waking up.  
  
Tony pulled the covers away, looking the kid over to find the injury that would have left him like… this. Dead. Stone cold. Broken. But found nothing but the pale skin of his mentee.  
  
Tony wasn’t stupid. Tony knew that if someone was dead for too long, they couldn’t be brought back to life. But Tony couldn’t give up on the kid. “Kiddo, please don’t do this to me” Tony begged as he turned the kid on his back, placing his hands on the kid’s chest, and pushing down with more force than he wanted to. The ribs breaking and getting displaced under Tony’s hands. And between every few compressions he forced air into the kids lungs. Begging and hoping for Peter to wake up. Smile and him and…  
  
_Careful hands where placed on his shoulders. “Mr. Stark? Mr. Stark you have to wake up it just a nightmare. It’s just a nightmare. Whatever your seeing, it isn’t real”. Tony opens his eyes carefully. The light from outside the lack house is haze against his eyes. But there, leaning over him, with strong hands on his shoulder’s stood the kid. Alive. And Tony pushed himself up and pulled the kid close. Feeling the heat from his body, seeping into his chest and arms as Tony folded himself more and more around him. “Uh, Mr. Stark. Are you alright?”.  
  
“I’m alright” Tony mumbles into the kids hair. “Your alright. You’re here. Your alive”.  
  
The kids seems confused, “Why wouldn’t I be here? Mr. Stark, what happened?”.  
  
“You dusted and…” Tony voice breaks, tears flowing from his eyes. He can’t stop it. “And I woke up, and you, you where dead. In the apartment. And May didn’t answer and… and you where gone. Just gone. For no apparent reason and…”.  
  
The kid pulled Tony away slightly. “It’s okay Mr. Stark. It’s okay. I’m right here”. He said, pulling Tony one hand away from him, and carefully placing it on his wrist. Letting Tony feel the pules throb slightly under the thin skin. “It was just a nightmare, Mr. Stark. Just a nightmare”.  
  
Just a nightmare._  
  
Tony woke up with a gasp, a throbbing in his head. Pepper waiting by his side, Morgan in her arms. Red puffy eyes and tear tracks down their faces. He could hear May voice in the hallway, through the open door. “I just don’t understand it” she sobs loudly. “I… I was right next door… I, I don’t understand”.  



End file.
